I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
