We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
