Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
