Don't you send me to vm
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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