So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
