Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
As shirtless as possible
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
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