Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
im holly from the hills drunk
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
