I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
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I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize