OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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