Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
