I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
