can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
