You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
