Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
