The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
