We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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