When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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