Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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