Dual....:-)
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
