Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just threw up on my dentist
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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