she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
