ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I supernannyed him into submission
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
