If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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