I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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