he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
