He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
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