he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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