i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
