I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
