It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
