You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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