Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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