My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
