Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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