How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
