I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize