Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
