Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
