Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
