We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
