she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
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apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
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Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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