as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
