We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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