Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just want to make out with him forever
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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