I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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