I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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