Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
My balls are so social today.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Randomize
