to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
