when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I can't put those talents on a resume
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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