Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
