after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize