Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Just cropdusted the office
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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