When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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