hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
