I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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