I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
