I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
