My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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