I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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