he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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