I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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