How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
