I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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