Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
